Parents keep child's gender secret
Parents keep child's gender secret
When Storm was born, the couple sent an email to friends and family: “We've decided not to share Storm's sex for now — a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime (a more progressive place? ...).” picked by Bornbad 5 days ago
tags Parents child's gender secret
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49
 Moe
5 days ago
In before the rush.

196
quote #2
38
 tigerton...
5 days ago
« Moe : In before the rush.
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quote #3
11
 laur000
5 days ago
I must admit, when I read the small section of the story posted here, I felt like facepalming. But after reading the article, i'm not so sure. I definitely agree with the way that these parents have treated their first two boys... allowing them to play and dress how they want, rather than having to conform to what is 'expected' of them (nothing should be 'expected' of a two year old!).
I think they may have taken this idea a bit too far with the last child, but I can't see it doing much harm in the long run. As the child grows up, it can decide (like its siblings have) whether or not to share its gender with people.
Got to admit though, it sure feels weird referring to a child as 'it'.
127
quote #4
59
 suebe
5 days ago
Hippies...next thing you know they'll name their next kid Trackball.
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quote #5
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29
 drogue
5 days ago
« suebe : Hippies...next thing you know they'll name their next kid Trackball.
Hey!

That was a fun game.

170
quote #6
22
 Interest...
5 days ago
« laur000 : I must admit, when I read the small section of the story posted here, I felt like facepalming. But after reading the article, i'm not so sure. I definitely agree with the way that these parents have treated their first two boys... allowing them to play and dress how they want, rather than having to conform to what is 'expected' of them (nothing should be 'expected' of a two year old!).
I think they may have taken this idea a bit too far with the last child, but I can't see it doing much harm in the long run. As the child grows up, it can decide (like its siblings have) whether or not to share its gender with people.
Got to admit though, it sure feels weird referring to a child as 'it'.
I think you would be grammatically correct to refer to a child using "he/she" if you don't know the gender. In today's culture using the term "it" for a child, I think, just dehumanizes the child. I also think not allowing for gender also dehumanizes the child as gender is a part of the human experience. We are what we are, male and female. Yes some people are uncomfortable with the restrictions society places on genders, but that too is part of the human experience. Men and woman are different, otherwise why would a transgender feel the need to live differently? In my experience most transgender individuals want to experience the whole experience of being the other gender because it is by it's very nature different.
So as Moe and Tigertony so eloquently put it...
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quote #7
8
 SkyHawkM...
5 days ago
Okay, I approve of this. Except for one thing. Give your child a gender-neutral name please. None of this hippy-dippy bullshit. They should decide later in life whether the name will slant male or female. It's not that hard.
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quote #8
29
 drogue
5 days ago
« Interesting :  In my experience most transgender individuals want to experience the whole experience of being the other gender because it is by it's very nature different.
Gotta disagree there. I'd posit that transgender people (and indeed transexual people) are rather trying to live in a gender/sex field that feels more "the same" as they have always felt, not "different." And it's not a simple man/woman, or male/female axis, but a much more subtle gradient of gender/sex/sexuality.

That said, the parents aren't hiding the kid's gender, they're hiding his sex from presumed gender expectations, which seems like a stunt. If it's a boy, say, let everyone know his sex is male, and if he wants to wear female clothes, play with Barbies etc., effing encourage him, and tell your relatives to butt the f**k out.

As far as gender goes, it's not as if we've exactly agreed upon the operating principles.
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quote #9
17
 B-MoreRa...
5 days ago
All this politically correct "gender expectations" talk ignores one simple fact: these parents are setting their kid up for years of ridicule and teasing from other children by not giving him/her a gender identity. It's very simple, if there is a penis, he is male, if there is a vagina, she is female. Gender identity isn't really something a young child should have to grapple with. Come on now.

If this child hits puberty and decides she/he wants a different gender identity than the one assigned to her/him, that's when they can choose that for themselves. However, denying a pre-pubescent child a gender identity is cruel and could be very harmful to the child's development. There is a time and a place to consider gender identity... during the age of sexual maturity!
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quote #10
8
 SkyHawkM...
5 days ago
The stupid "they're going to be ridiculed and teased" argument irks me. Kids are mean. They will make fun of you for anything. Too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny, too fast, too slow. And so on and so forth.
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quote #11
49
 Moe
5 days ago
« SkyHawkMkIV : The stupid "they're going to be ridiculed and teased" argument irks me. Kids are mean. They will make fun of you for anything. Too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny, too fast, too slow. And so on and so forth.
So naturally the best thing to do to fight this is give them an identity element that sets them apart from literally EVERY PERSON IN THE SCHOOL BUILDING.

No, this is the hippiest, dippiest, bullshittiest thing you can do to your kid. These people are acting like morons and I would tell them that to their face. They are using their kids to make a political statement so they can feel better about their fuked up view of reality. No better than making them hold a sign at a God Hates Fags convention.
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quote #12
17
 B-MoreRa...
5 days ago
« Moe:So naturally the best thing to do to fight this is give them an identity element that sets them apart from literally EVERY PERSON IN THE SCHOOL BUILDING.

No, this is the hippiest, dippiest, bullshittiest thing you can do to your kid. These people are acting like morons and I would tell them that to their face. They are using their kids to make a political statement so they can feel better about their fuked up view of reality. No better than making them hold a sign at a God Hates Fags convention.
These are the kind of hippies that give the rest of us hippies a bad name. It's bad enough to name your kid "Storm".
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quote #13
23
 plurk
4 days ago
Some food for thought:

Little Franklin Delano Roosevelt sits primly on a stool, his white skirt spread smoothly over his lap, his hands clasping a hat trimmed with a marabou feather. Shoulder-length hair and patent leather party shoes complete the ensemble.

We find the look unsettling today, yet social convention of 1884, when FDR was photographed at age 2 1/2, dictated that boys wore dresses until age 6 or 7, also the time of their first haircut. Franklin’s outfit was considered gender-neutral.

But nowadays people just have to know the sex of a baby or young child at first glance, says Jo B. Paoletti, a historian at the University of Maryland and author of Pink and Blue: Telling the Girls From the Boys in America, to be published later this year. Thus we see, for example, a pink headband encircling the bald head of an infant girl.

Why have young children’s clothing styles changed so dramatically? How did we end up with two “teams”—boys in blue and girls in pink?

“It’s really a story of what happened to neutral clothing,” says Paoletti, who has explored the meaning of children’s clothing for 30 years. For centuries, she says, children wore dainty white dresses up to age 6. “What was once a matter of practicality—you dress your baby in white dresses and diapers; white cotton can be bleached—became a matter of ‘Oh my God, if I dress my baby in the wrong thing, they’ll grow up perverted,’ ” Paoletti says.

Read more:
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quote #14
22
 Interest...
4 days ago
« drogue : Gotta disagree there. I'd posit that transgender people (and indeed transexual people) are rather trying to live in a gender/sex field that feels more "the same" as they have always felt, not "different." And it's not a simple man/woman, or male/female axis, but a much more subtle gradient of gender/sex/sexuality.
Sorry, didn't express my thought properly. What I meant was there are transgender people simply because there are differences. Why should a boy tell everyone he is a girl unless he perceived that there was a difference. If I have a penis but feel more like a girl then obviously I know that there is more to the whole male/female experience than genitalia. I personally would state that not every difference is defined by society. Certainly studies have shown that hormone differences can effect how we think ankd act.
0
quote #15
10
 gravyy
4 days ago
« B-MoreRavensFan : These are the kind of hippies that give the rest of us hippies a bad name. It's bad enough to name your kid "Storm".
I didn't know "Storm" was a hippie name. I know two girls named Stormy and another named Storm.
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quote #16
8
 SkyHawkM...
4 days ago
« Moe:So naturally the best thing to do to fight this is give them an identity element that sets them apart from literally EVERY PERSON IN THE SCHOOL BUILDING.
I covered that in an earlier post I made: "Okay, I approve of this. Except for one thing. Give your child a gender-neutral name please. None of this hippy-dippy bullshit. They should decide later in life whether the name will slant male or female. It's not that hard."
0
quote #17
29
 drogue
4 days ago
« plurk:Some food for thought:
Wow! What a coincidence that I'd just posted that link in this very comment thread 2 hours before!
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quote #18
59
 suebe
4 days ago
« gravyy:I didn't know "Storm" was a hippie name. I know two girls named Stormy and another named Storm.
I thought Storm was a name for meteorologists

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quote #19
23
 plurk
4 days ago
« drogue : Wow! What a coincidence that I'd just posted that link in this very comment thread 2 hours before!
Great minds, and all that. It's a great article to complement this thread and I hadn't noticed your link.
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quote #20
24
 arsphidi...
3 days ago
I just don't think that one should use one's children as a social experiment.
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quote #21
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